Walking a New Path When the Old One is Comfortable

You are a creature of habit. I mean, we all are - so don't think you're an exception.

Sometimes we try to learn a new habit on purpose - like brushing and flossing twice a day, not eating animal products, or doing yoga every day. That's really hard to do and sometimes people talk about how long it takes to build a new habit. That isn't always the way it works, really. Some of us (like me) just don't seem to learn new habits. I can learn to do something the same new way for 3 years and then just stop doing it one day. No matter how much better I felt for it or loved doing it - it's suddenly like it never happened. Why? 

Michelle Dawson by Robert Sturman

Some of us, it turns out have worn such a distinct path with our original habit - that the new one just can't compete. So it's not so much that you don't form a habit - you just formed the last one soooo well that it's harder to UNDO it than anything. It can be done, but it's going to be a more difficult journey.

What's my point here? Do I have one? I thought I did when I started.

If you're having trouble picking up a new habit - like doing yoga regularly (or ever) - go easy on yourself, but keep trying. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was your habit of not doing yoga.

Sometimes You Suck

Sometimes yoga is all about aiming for perfect alignment and holding a solid pose for ages. Other times you just want to get out of your head and into the flow. Sometimes you need to expand your horizons and try a new pose.

When you're in the flow - channel the breath and let go of expectations of perfection. If your practice has been slipping - your poses may not be as easy or pretty as they once were. When you're trying something new you have to get comfortable with the idea that you'll probably suck at it. You might fall on your face, your ass, and your ego. Even poses you've done a thousand times can surprise you on a bad day. Some days you will suck. And that's okay.

For teachers - sometimes your students will not be any good. Maybe they're doing their best but they're new; maybe your class is too fast-paced to get all the kinks worked out in each pose. These things can be fine. There's a place for the single beat pose class and the beginner's flail. Take care of your students, help them out, keep them safe but as one of my teacher trainers told us - Sometimes you just have to let them suck.

TED Talk: Sarah Kay

I was lucky enough to stumble across this video of Sarah Kay giving a TED Talk about living out loud and making connection with others through spoken poetry. It's 18 minutes long, but so moving and inspiring that it's more than worth the time.

Other than the obvious fact that her talk can be taken AS IS and be perfect for my whole mission with this blog I felt that some of the points directly apply to a physical yoga practice too.

Just like she says about poetry:
Practice what you know 
Practice what feels authentic to you... not just what you've seen
Not just the way you think it's supposed to be or look
But what organically feels right in your energy/body of the moment

Stop Worrying

photo not mine.

Soapwalla at Wanderlust Test

Being the modern-day yoga hippie-girl that I am - I am a huge fan of natural organic "chemical" free cosmetics. Anyone that's ever tried cleaning up their self-care routine knows that deodorant is right up there with waterproof mascara and toothpaste on difficulty of finding a good quality replacement. I've tried quite a few things, but I've been a big fan of Soapwalla Deodorant Cream for a while now. Yes, it's a cream. As in - you put it on with your fingers just like you do your face cream. At first that really weirds people out, but if you think about it - it shouldn't. You put on lotions/gels without too much thought, and yes you're rubbing something on your armpits - but it's while your armpit is still clean!

I love the stuff, but I'm an active girl - sometimes I take it to it's limits. I have found that on particularly crazy gym days while weight training it kind of foams. That is not fun, but I like it enough to put up with the occasional lightly foamed pit. Maybe those are the days I put too much on. *shrug* 99% of the time it behaves normally, does it's job, and doesn't stain my clothes.

When I started packing for Wanderlust I thought - I'm going to have some long hot active days - should I just pack my "other" deodorant? I did pack it... just in case, but I really wanted to give Soapwalla a chance and put it up to the serious hippie test - the Festival.

Test a hippie deodorant at Wanderlust!? That's Crazy! and perfect.

Outlined below is how the deodorant held up each day. I'll also add that I don't usually shower every single day, but during Wanderlust I did (so that probably helps).
In addition to all classes listed - add in a default of about a million hours of walking around and playing outside in the sun and heat.

Day 1 - Only one 2-hour class.
Temp: 75 degrees Farenheit
Peachy! Just as fresh at the end of the day as when it started.

Day 2 - Around 3 hours of tough classes - including 1.5 hours of slacklining in the sun.
Temp: 77
Good, not Great. Very mild musk at half an inch from my pits at the end of the day.

Day 3 - 1.5 hour lecture, 1.5 hour backbends outside, 1.5 hours hoopdance in the sun.
Temp: 80
Okay. It was going great until hooping non-stop under the sun from 4pm - 5:30pm. It was a very active class - lots of jumping and whatnot. After that I got a bit musky.

Day 4 - 1.5 hours self massage, 1.5 hours backbends in the hottest dome ever, 1.5 hours yoga nidra.
Temp: 86
Fine just Fine. Didn't really do a whole lot of active stuff, but the activity I did do was in a dome of heat. It was like doing hot yoga. I really regretted wearing pants to that class instead of shorts.

Overall:
Soapwalla clearly holds up great for low-medium activity. Even high activity in mild heat. But if the heat is way high and you're going to be outside for 6 hours - you might want something tougher if you tend to stink a lot. I'm not a strongly-scented person, so I can get by just like this. I never pulled out my back-up deodorant, and I think I'll just throw it out for good.

Wanderlust Squaw Valley 2012 Recap

I'll try to keep this short : This was my 2nd non-consecutive year at Wanderlust Festival in Squaw Valley and I loved it. Learned all sorts of new things and tried all sorts of new teachers. Naturally, I also attended concerts and took classes from long-time-favorite teachers. In addition to all the sunshine there was lots of yoga, dancing, hoop dance, slacklining, music, art, shopping, and of course - hugging. Sometimes you just need to get away and play.

Incense and white sage

I loved slackline yoga so much that I bought a slackline so I can work on it anytime.

Adam was good at the knee balancing thing. I was not.

Self massage class - and an altar decoration made of records. There were lots of altars.

Slacklining over a pond - this was fun to watch.

KK Ledford's Honey Hearts class was awesome... me on the left.

Resistance to Practice: Lighten Up!

Doldrums, disinterest, lack of motivation... Whatever you want to call it - it can be a veritable brick wall. The first time this happens to you isn't really much different than the 50th time. It's always uncomfortable. Everyone deals with it differently. When the last thing you want to do is practice - how do you handle it?

I suggest that you lighten up!

My asana practice has been dragging ass for a few months. The very sight of my mat kinda makes me groan at the notion of practice.

Finally I realized that if I relax my requirements of what counts as practice then I might do more yoga. I started doing yoga in my pajamas in the grass of my backyard, at the gym in the middle of the "stretching area" in my sneakers, or in the carpeted living room while wearing socks. Turns out I just need a new perspective for a while.

My practice is different (again) and I've sort of distilled it down to the pieces I enjoy the most. I've removed the "fluff" and I'm doing lots of lunges, hanumanasana, and pigeon mostly. I've made huge strides in my poses by doing this. That doesn't mean I never do the other stuff. I just mostly focus on my big loves and loosening my expectations is treating me well.

When you want nothing to do with yoga - focus on what you love.

By immersing my practice in joy and letting go of the picky details like always having to be barefoot I'm reconnecting to why I love the practice and this slump will pass.

25 More Letters

A little note to keep in mind if you're falling off your new year's resolution wagons.

After that, there's an infinity of numbers.

Recycled Post - Inspiration Board

I just re-did my Inspiration Board so I thought it was a good time for a recycled post!

Read last year's post about the process of setting up your own Inspiration Board - Here.

New Year - Fresh Intentions

I don't really do New Year's Resolutions. When the new year comes I might have some intentions for my year, or some hopes, but I don't resolve things.

New dress. New socks. New Hair.

This year I hope to be more open to those around me and I intend to create new friendships. I hope to love and appreciate with all my heart, so that I may make the most of what little time I have on this planet as a human. I intend to live with freedom, expression, and a wild inner light to better uplift those around me simply by proximity. I intend to truly see the sun, the moon, the flowers, and the inner goodness of those I meet. I hope to hug more, receive more, and do more.

What are your hopes and intentions for the New Year?

What I Hear About Yoga

I'm pretty sure this is talking about me, but I have to note that this guy appears to be wearing ballet flats.

Friday - Looking Back

Friday was a lot of things...including but not limited to: the end of the month, my 11 year anniversary (since our first date), and the first time I got one of my feet behind my head.

Now as October begins - it's becoming harder to deny that my favorite season Summer is gone. The weather is still mostly here, but the cooler mornings and nights are creeping in for sure. I'm trying my best to accept Autumn, but the idea of wearing pants and starting to wear sweaters soon is not thrilling. Hopefully the increased opportunities to bake and celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays will help.

My anniversary was nice - nothing too horribly exciting, but good. Our wedding anniversary is coming up soon so we don't tend to make a huge deal out of the dating anniversary. Basically we went out to a nice restaurant and had what turned out to be mediocre food. Despite my best efforts I really don't like polenta or red cabbage. The live music was fun though. I definitely enjoyed that.

Oh yeah, and I got my foot behind my head... which is barely even noteworthy. That's how I've been feeling anyway. If you've been around a while you may recall that after my foot reached my head in King Pigeon pose - that Eka Pada Sirsana was my next big goal. Every day I feel equally distant from that goal as the day I set it, but Friday it just kinda happened. Now I always thought that achieving this feat would be like - "Fuck Yeah!", but it turned out to be a half smile, and then I pretty much forgot about it. I've been terribly underwhelmed about the whole thing. Does that mean I'm becoming less attached to the fruits of my labor? Maybe. If so, I'm okay with that. I only managed it with one foot... so one of these days I'll be an ambidextrous foot-behind-header and that'll be neat. For pictures at least. Something I don't have any of yet.

Kino Macgregor - Ashtanga Badass and Teacher

So what is all this rambling about? Well - as the seasons change and the earth gets a bit quieter it's a good idea to turn inside and do some assessing. See where you've been, check out where you are, and realize where you're going. Shed your attachment to the past, try to make the most of your present, and if your future does not look promising - either learn to accept it or take action to change it Now.

Photo Source: The top pic is mine, but the bottom pic is from KinoYoga.

Halfway There - Challenge Update

Now that we're halfway through the 30 day challenge, it's a good time to check in. With each other and with ourselves. How's your practice coming along? What are some obstacles you've encountered and what are you doing about them? Feeling any different? Are you doing it alone or with support? Are you enjoying it? If you're not having any fun - you may be too serious. Now lighten up and do something silly. Sometimes a buddy and some partnered balance poses are all you need to associate yoga with giggle fits.

My home practice right now is:
I'm doing the detox this week so its very small. The practices YJ provides are like 30 minutes long, which is a huge drop back from my usual 2-3 hour thing. I think it's good for me though. As someone with a dominant vata dosha I tend to be on overdrive as much as possible. I need to sometimes focus on doing less and doing it slower. This week is definitely accomplishing that. I'm still doing my hour long morning session, but to have such calm afternoons is sweet.

My favorite part may be the self-abhyanga that I've been doing daily as part of my slow-down detox. It truly makes me feel luxurious and clean and pampered. What is abhyanga you ask? It's a self-massage with warm organic sesame oil that is done pre-shower. I coat myself in warm oil literally from head to toe - then I sit and meditate to let it soak in. Then I shower. Try it! Quality instructions here.

Other things I've been doing as part of my practice and detox week: Reading books all day long, going to bed earlier, getting up earlier (like when it's still dark), and abstaining from killing things. This sounds like a no-brainer, but I didn't realize how hard it is to NOT kill spiders and flies. I accidentally killed a mosquito Tuesday night.

Awakening with Yoga

"To the disciples, Yogananda often said, “Be patient in your yoga practice. A plant won’t grow the moment you plant the seed. ‘Make haste slowly,’ as the saying goes. It may take time to achieve the results you long for, but the more you practice, the more you will see your life changing. “The day will dawn at last when you won’t even recognize yourself as the person you were." - “The Essence of Self-Realization: The Wisdom of Paramhansa Yogananda”

Something to keep in mind as you practice, but especially if you are just starting.

Yes, this is my dog.

On the Popularity of Kitchari

I've always heard good things about kitchari. Always. Good Things. Everyone always sounds so enthusiastic. I was optimistically curious about it for this 7 day detox. Made some yesterday: I did my best - it's fairly simple and I've made much more complicated foods.

I didn't care for it. Neither did Adam. It came out just tasting like cumin rice. Tried adding the cilantro chutney they recommended for flavor - and I didn't have faith to begin with because I hate cilantro so I only used a tiny amount. Anyway, it was something I would have to choke down plain. It was just gross with chutney. Instead I went to IHOP... man I suck at that. The strawberry pancakes were good though. Good thing I wasn't really intending to do the whole detox plan and eat kitchari for three meals a day. Then I'd really be a failure. I don't need detox guilt.

The dog however, was very excited about the kitchari. He loved the smell of it while it was cooking and he did tricks without being asked to for a tiny chihuahua sized taste of it... and he gobbled it up. Loved it. Well... the dog is better at detoxing than I am.  Ha! Maybe I just suck at making kitchari. I'll definitely be trying again in the future.

I did accidentally make mung bean sprouts though.

Meditation - Success!

Remember ages ago I was talking about trying to build a regular daily meditation practice? I had arbitrarily set the goal to every day for six months. I figured if I'd made it 6 months it was a real habit and I was serious about it.

I just realized today that a couple weeks ago I hit my 6 months of meditation. Yay!

It's definitely a habit now. I meditate every day rain, shine, or apocalypse. Sometimes it's 30 minutes, sometimes it's 5... on a rare occasion it's like 2 which hardly feels like meditation but it counts.

Your Future Self is Better Than You

People are naturally competitive... even when no one is around we tend to compete with ourselves. Yesterday's quote was all about this. It can be a major motivator, or it can be an anvil holding you down.

Generally yoga is considered non-competitive. Generally. There are asana competitions and there's many peoples tendency to eyeball the best person in yoga class wanting to have the ability to hold a textbook Utkatasana for minutes without a sweat. Humans compete - it's built into our genetics and instincts. If we weren't competitive the human race would've died out instead of the neanderthals. Competition is handy when it decides who lives and who dies. Its even helpful when you're trying to achieve a goal and you need something to help you do better today than 2 months ago. Competition drives progress.

However, sometimes that competitive outlook can weigh you down if you're not on top. If you're doing worse today than yesterday, or six weeks ago, or four years ago - your natural drive to want to be better than you think you were then is going to irritate and discourage you. It happens, but don't let it get you down. Just because you sat in painless meditation for 45 minutes yesterday doesn't mean you have to do it again today. Five minutes is just fine.

Let yourself be where you are today. Sometimes you need to compete with yourself on your ability to accept things as they currently are.

My Big Fat Pet Peeve

I have a lot of little things that bother me when people come over to my house. It doesn't happen often, so I get used to things being my way. Usually it's just little things I don't bother bringing up because they're unimportant, but you know what REALLY bugs me - my mega-huge "in my house" pet peeve? People stepping on my yoga mat with their shoes. Let me elaborate...

My mat is kind of a permanent fixture in my living room floor. There are currently two giant mats in the floor with a big gap in between them that leaves a nice walking path through the room. Since it's generally just me, the husband, and the dog - we can leave our mats out and not really care. Everyone knows not to walk on the $100 mats with shoes. Bare feet? Fine. Socked feet? Fine. Shoes? No. Mud? No. Mud and grass and unidentifiable ickem?? NO!!

My mat got walked on yesterday by a visitor who stopped by unexpectedly (otherwise I would've moved the mats). He's been here before; and he knows better. He walked all over it, like it was made exactly for walking muddy shoes on. I actually yelled at him - and called him names. *sigh* Not my finest moment.

I wish I had handled it better, but to be totally honest - I just wish people would keep their shoes off my mat.

Photo Source: The Internet?? dunno. Well - That 70's Show, really.

It Tastes Like Pink!

The title of today's post is just one of my favorite quotes from the lastest episode of Glee. I almost apologize to anyone that found my blog looking for Glee quote stuff. Almost.

I was talking to someone today about yoga and why I suggest it for just about anyone. Some people do yoga for enlightenment, some people do it because they're good at it, some people do it to become more in tune with themselves, some people do it for nothing more than a great yoga butt. The reasons people do yoga are probably about as numerous as the people who practice it. I'm no yoga snob - if you show up to my class because you want a tighter hotter bod and have no interest in the spiritual side - that's great. Whatever. As long as you're here - you're my friend.

To get back to my point -
One of the ultimate reasons that we (Adam and I) think that yoga is one of the top fitness pursuits is simply how you feel when you're done. We run, we lift weights, but yoga is the one we really shout from the rooftops about. Standard cardio and lifting heavy things get you worked and leave you a little healthier, but they also often leave you feeling kind of exhausted. Runners high aside - exercise is hard and can leave you feeling a bit run down at least until you've downed your pick-me-up protein shake.

Yoga lifts you up though. Even if you just did a 3 hour class and sweated a lake onto your mat and your muscles were shaking so hard your shirt fell off - once it's all done and you've savasana'd your heart out - you usually feel better than you did when you first got to your mat. Whether you buy into the "moving energy blockages" thing, or believe in chakras - you understand what feels good... and feeling better probably wins over feeling a little bit worse.

People often say that we Anusara people are "drinking the kool-aid", and I hope this is a bottomless cup because It Tastes Like Pink!

Rocking Bhakti Weekend

This weekend I attended a five piece workshop with Sianna Sherman on her Rock the Bhakti Tour. She is known for being a great storyteller and I have to agree that I'm always kind of blown away by her stories and the skill with which she translates that into a practice. We have friends in Portland, OR (where the workshop was held) so we stayed with them. I did just shy of 6 hours of yoga a day and partied into the wee hours of the night. It was a lot of fun. I'm still recovering from it, hence the late post today.

The overall experience was great - as I generally expect from world-class yoga and friends. I can definitely say, though, that I'm not going to be moving to Portland if I can help it. The yogis there were not as nice or welcoming as the people I've met anywhere else. The whole atmosphere was snippy and disrespectful to say the least. They didn't seem to value Sianna's presence or authority very much. People were rude towards me, towards my husband... eventually I was trying to spend as little time around them as possible. Not the yoga community feel I'm used to.

The classes were definitely sweat-inducing and challenging. With all the sweating - the practice room was like a sauna. The air was humid and filled with sweat. The floors and walls were wet - people were leaking transformation everywhere. On my final day I got a photo with Sianna after class. Between the windows above and the moisture hanging thick in the air - none of them came out very well. After a few tries we decided it was just meant to have an aura to it. We hugged and she thanked me for coming... and I got the hell outta there before someone else could ruin my good day.